It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The D.E.N.N.I.S. System

Quotes from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The D.E.N.N.I.S. System

  • He has banged a lot of chicks.
  • Separate entirely.
  • Men stuff!
  • I’m swooping in on your chick.
  • Sweet Dee
    • He’s not D.E.N.N.I.S.ing me.
    • Of course we have engaged physically.
    • I don’t need you, I don’t need anybody.
  • Frank Reynolds
    • I would have gone in and bought a box of Magnum condoms.  Thus demonstrating I have a monster dong.
    • She don’t have a boyfriend.
    • I’m ready to plow.
    • That’s good, call me that from now on, Mantis.
  • Dennis Reynolds
    • I have a system, a fool-proof system for getting any chicks undying love and affection for life.  I’m talking about the D.E.N.N.I.S. system
    • The D.E.N.N.I.S. system is a comprehensive approach for seduction I have developed for years.
    • I personally try to engage the girl physically without ever having gone on a date.
    • Have her car towed, or slash her tires.
    • Welcome to hell.
    • You been humping these chicks when I’m done with them?
    • And then, naturally, we bang.
  • Charlie Kelly
    • Smooth. Very very smooth stuff, very classy.  I’m learning a lot from you dude.
    • Your getting played big time, big time.
    • You don’t have to call the police. Read more »

    Guantanamo Bay Detainees 9/11 To New York 5 Others To Military Commissions

    Attorney General Eric Holder, on 13NOV09, announced that the 9/11 defendants (Khalid Sheikh Mohammed “KSM,” Waleed bin Attash, Ramzi Binalshibh, Ali Abd al-Aziz Ali, and Mustafa Ahmad al-Hawsawi).

    AG Holder also announced that five cases would be headed for the military commissions:

    -Omar Khadr, born in Toronto, who was 15 when captured after allegedly killing an American soldier during a 2002 battle in Afghanistan. He is accused of killing U.S. Army Sgt. 1st Class Christopher Speer of Albuquerque, N.M., with a grenade. Authorities say he is the son of a slain al-Qaida financier.

    -Ahmed Mohammed al-Darbi, who allegedly has met with Osama bin Laden, trained at an al-Qaida terrorist camp, and plotted to blow up a ship in the Strait of Hormuz or off Yemen. After his capture, al-Darbi says American troops subjected him to beatings, excruciating shackling, painfully loud music, isolation and threats of rape.

    -Ibrahim Ahmed Mahmoud al Qosi, who is accused of acting as al-Qaida’s accountant, paymaster and supply chief during the 1990s when the terror network was centered in Sudan and Afghanistan. He allegedly worked later as a bodyguard for Osama bin Laden.

    -Noor Uthman Muhammed, who is allegedly a member of al-Qaida, trained at a camp in Afghanistan and later become a weapons instructor. From 1996 to 2000 he allegedly was deputy commander of at a terror training camp, where he oversaw its operations.

    Read more »

    Pitt Over Notre Dame: Another Nail In Charlie Weis’s Coffin

    Charlie Weis is on his way out at Notre DameLoss last week to Navy.  Now a loss to Pitt.  As has been called on here, here, here, and here, Notre Dame must replace Charlie Weis.

    yojoe out

    It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia: Mac & Dennis Break Up

    Quotes from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Mac & Dennis Break Up

    • Mac
      • We’re more like a dynamic duo.castRobMcElhenney_thumb
      • I texted you 911, dude.
      • Jason Statham’s physic is nothing like the lineup in Predator.
      • It’s important to pack on mass.
      • You think that not eating cat food is putting on airs?
    • Sweet Dee
      • Enjoy that movie, boners.
      • You want a skinless apple bud.
      • Wow, there are a lot of cats back here.
    • Frank Reynolds
      • I got your groceries, no cat food.
      • Your throwing my toe knife out?
      • We are the gruesome twosome!
    • Dennis Reynolds
      • I feel like I’m not flourishing.
      • You couldn’t think of the word words.
      • I swallowed some apple seeds today.
      • I was told I would be meeting a woman with giant breasts.
    • Charlie Kelly
      • Cat in the wall, hey.  Ok, now your talk’n my language.
      • You got to have a sidekick.
      • Cat’s don’t abide by the laws of nature.
      • I got followed here by like ten cats.
      • Let’s start think’n like a cat.
      • I would throw up now. Read more »

    Decision On Venue For Guantanamo Detainees To Be Announced

    The Administration is set to announce the venue, either military commissions or Article III court, for a number of the detainees held at Guantanamo Bay as early as Friday 13NOV09,

    The Obama administration is poised to announce a decision, as early as Friday, on where the 9/11 conspirators and five other detainees will be tried, a senior military official and other sources with knowledge of the planning told Fox News.

    A “mixture” of venues are planned for the detainees now being held at the U.S. facility at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba, the senior military official told Fox News, though it isn’t yet clear where those trial venues will be.

    Sources also told Fox News that details will be announced regarding the case of Abd al-Nashiri, the alleged planner of the 2000 attack on the USS Cole that killed 17 sailors in 2000. Two legal sources describe Nashiri as being in poor physical condition.

    yojoe out

    Blogroll Addition: The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks

    If you have ever noted the myriad grammatical faux pas visited upon the signage across the country, this blog is for you: the “blog” of “unnecessary” quotation marks

    apostrophe

    Here is a prior post with a very unusual urinal sign.

    yojoe out

    Helmets For All College And Pro Football Teams

    The Helmet Project is a very cool Website.  If you ever wondered what the helmet of your favorite college or NFL team look like in the past, just go to the site.  You can even see some made-up helmets, like Penn State with a logo.

    yojoe out

    Navy Over Notre Dame

    Charlie Weis made history in 2007 by losing to Navy for the first time in 44 years.  He did it again today by losing to Navy  23 – 21.

    This takes Notre Dame out of the BCS, with their third loss of the season.

    This should increase the calls for Charlie Weis to be fired.  As mentioned here, here, and, here, Notre Dame needs a new coach.

    Another note on the game, specifically on the coverage by NBC, the praise for Jimmy Clausen is getting worse every game.  Praising Clausen for his ability to make comeback wins in the 4th quarter is more of an indictment of Notre Dame.  They are losing for most of the quarters they play.  That is not a good thing.

    yojoe Fight On!

    It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Gang Wrestles for the Troops

    Quotes from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Gang Wrestles for the Troops.

    Are you kidding, with Rowdy Roddy Piper as a guest star you know it will be great.  Also Rickety Cricket wrestles Frank.

    • Charlie Kelly
    • Unfortunately, he does not mention Milk Steak.
      • Maybe we will do an eagle screech.
      • Pigeon Boys, let’s do this!
      • I feel like pigeons are survivors, though.
      • What’s up cricket.
      • Were gonna write this great song.  It’s gonna be about how bad ass we are.
      • What happens in the ring cricket, happens in the ring.
      • Why the hell would you have a bucket of chestnuts bro?
      • That’s no prop. That’s sharp razor wire.
      • They are going to announce our name: Birds of War.
    • Mac
      • Is he foraging for his food?
      • I’m getting more of a chicken vibe.
      • Drop a beat for us.
      • We can’t let the Taliban win.
      • I don’t know what kind of bird we would be.
      • The eagles born out of thunder, he flies through the night, don’t you mess with his eggs now, or you’ll see us fight, because we have feathers, but the muscles of men, because we’re Bird of War now, but we’re also men.
    • Frank Reynolds
      • I’m the trash man.
      • I start eating garbage.
    • Dennis Reynolds
      • I want people to be able to see we aren’t just birds.
      • He was calling you the N-word.
      • I don’t feel that we are reading as eagles.
      • We are Bird Men, we are Birds of War.
    • Sweet Dee
      • For the love of God, please don’t ask him about his dick.
      • I’m not desert rose.
      • So, what’s the deal with you standing?
      • Artemis, I’m warning you, if you don’t get out of the way right now I’m gonna bring out the big guns.

    Read more »

    Washington Redskins Ban Signs At Games, Eject And Insult Fans

    It goes without saying that the Washington Redskins are a rancid football team.  But now the team, read Daniel Snyder, has reached new lows, aside from losses to Detroit and KC.

    Here are some of the highlights of the new lows for the Redskins:

    • Two fans wearing “Dumb” and “Dumber” shirts with photos of Snyder and VP Vinny Cerrato claimed security guards made them invert their shirts.
    • Fans were prohibited from chanting “We want Gruden.”
    • The team has banned media interviews of tailgating fans.
    • Fans are prohibited from having signs at the game, even signs supporting our troops in Afghanistan.  Way to go Snyder.  Great to be against the troops.
    • Redskin linebacker Robert Henson, berated Redskins fans on his Twitter page.  It Tweet: “All you fake half hearted Skins fan can .. I won’t go there but I dislike you very strongly, don’t come to Fed Ex to boo dim wits!!”
      • “half hearted” Henson, learn to tackle and to properly use phrasal adjectives.  You not good at either.

    Read more »

    Notes On Refinancing A Home

    Having just completed the paperwork necessary to refinance a home mortgage, it is appropriate to share a few thoughts.

    First, there is a reason people hate lawyers, to wit, the preposterous number of signatures required.  For a simple refinance, same residence no second mortgage, it required a total of 32 signatures and 14 initials to consummate all of the necessary documents.

    Second, why is it essential to disclose one’s race and ethnicity to borrow money?

    Third, it was in sum a positive move.  The refinance resulted in a 5-1 ARM at %4.5.

    yojoe out

    P.S.   Premier Lending Group, Brian Baker,  was very helpful in making this loan happen.

    Charlie Weis Claims Moral Victory After Loss To USC

    Note Dame coach, Charlie “I Looked at Myself and Saw a Disaster” Weis clamed the 2009 loss to USC was a moral victory.  Irish fans have to understand that Weis can not turn this team around in just five seasons, despite the fact that his team will, in “every game . . . have a decided schematic advantage.”  You must understand, he is suffering from the poor recruiting done by Ty Willingham.

    Again, you can not expect Weis to turn the program around in just five seasons.  It has taken a number of head coaches to get their teams to national championships.  Nick Saban did it in his 4th season, Pete Carroll did it in his 3rd season, Bob Stoops did it in his 2nd season, and Urban Meyer did it in his 2nd season.  Well, those are all less than the five seasons Weis has had, but it is different for Weis.  Not sure how it is different, but it is.

    It can not be Charlie Weis’s fault, he is just too great of a coach.  Remember Charlie Weis making history last season by losing to Navy for the first time in 44 years.  That was also Willingham’s fault.  Don’t blame Weis.

    Read more »

    Recipe For Milk Steak

    For a delicious meal of Milk Steak you will need the following ingredients, remember to buy the most succulent  meat and the freshest milk :

    1. T-Bone Steak
    2. 1 Gallon Boiling Milk

    Bring the milk to a rolling boil, then add the steak.  It is best served boiled over hard.  For a side dish you should consider a bowl of jelly beans, raw.

    One famous lover of this dish is Charlie Kelly.

    It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia: The World Series Defense

    Quotes from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The World Series Defense

    • Charlie Kelly
      • I got a pretty good thing going with green man.
      • Passionate fans, we got to hammer something.
      • We are going to do a Charlie 1 2.
      • Don’t big league me man. character
      • I got hammed so hard.
      • I’m calling kangaroo court.
    • Mac
      • I’m not watching this game sober.
      • I don’t appreciate being paraphrased.  Now I choose my words very deliberately.
      • I absolutely have the upper-body strength to accomplish that.
      • When ever there is a potential riot, I’m getting blasted on grain alcohol.
    • Frank Reynolds
      • Balls!  They are fumigating the building for bed bugs.
      • I can’t read every flyer that gets slipped under the door.
      • The bug bomb bastards took them.
    • Dennis Reynolds
      • I’m blasting bear chest the whole time.
      • Riot punch.
      • Can we not base out decisions on what does or does not work on episodes of Scooby-Doo.
      • We are not gonna be waste’n our fine grain alcohol on your bug bites.
    • Sweet Dee

    LSU Florida Tebow Will Play For Gators

    LSU TigersThe game of this Saturday is LSU v. Florida.  The latest news indicates Tim Tebow will start for the Gators.

    If he’s got a 100 percent clean bill of health and the phalanx of involved parties agrees he’s fine (coach Urban Meyer said there were 12 people in the room Monday to discuss Tebow’s concussion recovery), do it. No more interested party than Bob Tebow, Tim’s father, said that if his son were cleared to play — and he stressed Thursday afternoon that the decision has not been made — he would not spend Saturday wincing at Tim’s high-impact playing style.

    Dreadnaught prediction: If Tebow plays Florida wins, if Tebow is out LSU gets the win. bodog has LSU by 8 points.

    yojoe out

    It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia: The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention

    Quotes from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Gang Gives Frank an Interventionimgres

    Frank Reynolds

    • It’s not grease it’s sap.
    • I don’t know how many years on this Earth I got left, I’m gonna get real weird with it.
    • Block the wind I’m gonna roast this bone.
    • We did a bunch of those Monster energy drinks and dry humped.  I think she gave me poison ivy.
    • Look Snail, back off, you’re just mash’n it now.

    Charlie Kelly

    • You might want to be armed at this intervention.
    • When was the last time we played nightcrawlers, Frank.

    Dennis Reynolds

    Sweet Dee

    • We are not intervening on Frank for a lack of good ideas. Read more »