Jonathan Lee Riches© v. LeBron James, Michal Vick, Wayne Gretzky, Joe Montana, Tony Montana, Mickey Mantle, and Allen Iverson

Mr. Jonathan Lee Riches©, on 16AUG07, filed a civil rights complaint, entitled “FRAUD IN SPORTS” “CHEATING THE AMERICAN PEOPLE” against:

  • LeBron James
  • Michael Vick (again, he named Mr. Vick in a previous complaint)
  • Wayne Gretzky
  • Michael Jordan
  • Joe Montana
  • Tony Montana (Did he play for the Dolphins? No, must be the Bengals)
  • Mickey Mantle
  • Allen Iverson

Mr. Riches© is seeking $83,000,000,000.00 in damages. But this time he did not want the money for himself. The JLR (as Mr. Riches© is referred to on Dreadnaught) has become a philanthropist. He wants the money to be donated to “Greensburg Kansas Tornado victims, Kent State Massacre victims, Richard Jewel, (a party he has previously sued), coal miners, skid row section of L.A.”

As usual it is best to dissect a JLR case count by count:

  1. Defendants are in a super vast conspiracy to ruin my life and hiJak my brain. My name is Jonathan Lee Richards, “secured party” under the Uniform Commercial Code, serving 125 months in Federal Prision for Identity theft, fraud, Hacking, Phishing, spamming. My case was from the Southern District of Texas, Case # H-03-09.
    • Not just a conspiacy, a super-vast conspiracy.
  2. Defendant LeBron James has a secret relationship with my sentencing judge MeLinda Harmon, Both violated my 6th amendment rights under Booker and Fan Fan enhancing me under th federal sentencing guidelines without being proven by a jury, or was in my Indictment. I was enhanced millions of dollars in fraud losses. Defendant James forced me into a federal penitentiary, now I’m in FCI over 500 miles from my home. Defendant James will not feed me. I came to prison at a Healthy 170 lbs, now I currently weight 125 lbs at 5ft 10 inches. I have pictures to prove this and can submit upon request.
  3. All Defendants are in violation of copyright laws putting my copyright mugshot picture on the Hillsborough county Florida jail, Tampa Inmate lookup site without my consent. Michael Jordan wears Jonathan Riches t-shirts. Wayne Gretzky carries Jonathan Lee Riches Bibles. Football great Joe Montana is in business with Gangster Tony Montana, both use the Jonathan Lee Riches name. I’ve been copyrighted since 1994, the conspiracy started then and lasts to this day. Yesterday for example, Mickey Mantle tried to get JC Penney’s store credit in my name. Michael Vick has used my credit in Ohio since he was drafted.
    • Has anyone seen MJ rolling in JLR gear? When did the JLR make his own bible?
  4. Defendants are in violation of common law unfair competition. I dunked over Mr. Jordan in high school. Mr. James hired a croonie to bust my kneecap. James took out a car loan in my name in 2003 to buy a Hummer. Defendants are involved with Global warming, endangering wildlife, setting wildfires out west. Dec 6th, 2003 I caught Defendants with gas cans along I-70.
    • So LeBron went Tanya Harding on the JLR.
  5. Defendants picked on me in High school. They tied my shoes together, put bubble gum on my bicycle seat, my lunch money was stolen to purchase performance enhancement drugs, HgH. All Defendants have Victor Conte’s from Balco Labs Phone # Number stored in their cell Phones.
    • despite the vast age differences, they all went to high school together.
  6. Defendants bet on sports. Defendants hunt without licences. April 20th, 2002 Defendants were seen with the Iranians. Defendants hired Robotic guards to work at FCI Williamsburg. Defendants fought in the battle of hastings 1066 with the Duke of Normandy.
    • The battle of what, with the Duke of where? Random, even for the JLR.
  7. Plaintiff is entitled for relief under the whistle blowing Act.
  8. Defendants send me hate mail to prison. Defendants put fluoride in the water system. Defendants fialed to build an Anti-ufo defense system a at FCI Williamsburg. Defendants took fruit away from the prison commissary.
    • Prisions have the best fruit.
  9. Defendants with CNN, had a show called CNN Special Investigations Unit “How to Rob a bank,” did a program on me violating my copyrighted property
  10. Defendants broke into Watergate in the 1970’s.
  11. Plaintiff requests this honorable court for a restraining order for no more use of my copyrighted name and property.

This complaint was filed in the Ohio Northern District Court. Mr.
Riches© has previously filed in: IN Northern, GA Northern, VA Eastern,
MI Eastern, CA Northern, KY Western, NH, FL Southern, WY, MA, PA
Eastern, NV, and SC. Is it possible that some forum shopping is going
on here? Also, below his signature block he has listed “U.C.C. 1-308.”

Another impressive showing for the JLR. Any ideas on who he will sue next? There is no point in trying to forecast what his causes of action will be, it is beyond our comprehension.

yojoe© out

Other lawsuits by Mr. Riches©.

13 Responses

  1. I bet he’ll hit up Lance Armstrong next. I’m surprised he hasn’t gone after the Bush Administration yet or for that matter all the Presidential administrations since he was born.

  2. I actually have myself some Jonathan Lee Riches shirts. I suspect I’m going to be sued. But I think I’ll go with the lawers that got Skittles and the SCLC off in that one suit. So I’m nt too worried about it.

    I’d post a link, but I’m told that linking your own blog in comments is bad form.

    But it’s there, click on my name, about 4 or 5 posts old.

    Anyone remember that book Seinfeld did called “letters from a nut?” I think we found the nut.

  3. Letters From a Nut was a great book. One of the best letters was to Cisco about the Thong Song.

  4. Unbelievable. I can’t imagine why I’ve never heard of this kook before.

  5. He’s not forum-shopping; the N.D. Indiana case concerned a “steroid house” in South Bend, and venue is appropriate here as LeBron James is in Ohio.

    He’s not crazy. He’s simply the world’s foremost authority on the vast conspiracy that’s trying to put his name on mugs.

  6. Will you stop putting the copyright symbol by his name? You can’t copyright a name. From the copyright office’s web site FAQ:

    How do I copyright a name, title, slogan or logo?
    Copyright does not protect names, titles, slogans, or short phrases. In some cases, these things may be protected as trademarks. Contact the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office, 800-786-9199, for further information. However, copyright protection may be available for logo artwork that contains sufficient authorship. In some circumstances, an artistic logo may also be protected as a trademark.

    This nutjob is probably only bucking to get taken out of prison and into some asylum somewhere where after 6 months, he can claim to be cured and released.

  7. Antony-

    Your point is correct about the copyright, and the issue is noted and discussed in another post.

    There are two reasons the copyright symbol is used after “Riches.” First, that is how he lists his name in his complaints. Second, there is something humorous about JLR’s grasp of the law. He knows some legal terms and phrases, but misapplies them.


  8. I would start putting copyright symbols after my name if i knew the key cobination to make it. I think we should all copyright our names.

  9. This guy is outrageous. I had no idea he was suing like 87 other people. I love his courage.

  10. He sued Skittles at one point. They were in a conspiracy with the Magna Carta to steal his eyebrows via the UCC.

    Not since Martin Luther has one man stood up with a document recognized by no one and made such an impact on the world at large.

    But since ookie has now pled to Federal Charges, does that mean, that possibly, maybe, Michael Vick and Mr Riches can tangle in the yard at FCI Williamsburg?

    I really, really want them to be in the same institution.

  11. I think that his filings are funny. By themselves. You (the owner/comentator) need not comment on them to point out innacuracies or impossibilities. They’re preeeetttty clear.

    Just sayin’….

  12. I wonder how much money Jordan has made from his shoe line? Probably in the billions!

  13. you guys are acting like this cat is serious. you know it a joke, right? you dont actually have to rebut his ridiculous claims.

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