Jonathan Lee Riches© v. Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson

Jonathan Lee Riches©For those who are just being introduced to the JLR here is some of of his previous work: Michael Vick, Barry Bonds, Don Imus, Wal-Mart, The World Wide Web, Williams Sisters, and LeBron James.

The JRL’s latest work is: Jonathan Lee Riches© v. 50 Cent A/K/A Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, complaining of copyright infringement and requesting “$35,000,000,000.00 Billion” in damages. The complaint reads as follows:

1

Plaintiff Jonathan Lee Riches©, a Professional actor, model, and entertainer Broadcasts the Jonathan Lee Riches© show throughout this state. Jonathan Lee Riches© has starred in numerous Hollywood films, including as follows: Swordfish, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, The Karate Kid, Gino Romano, Catch Me If You Can, One Night In Paris. Jonathan Lee Riches© is also a international model with Main Line Models of King of Prussia, Pennsylvania.

Jonathan Lee Riches© is also a professional Ghost writher for mainstream and underground musicians including the Defendant.

Jonathan Lee Riches© has written poems, lyrics, books and manuscripts on cybercrime know how and prevention. Jonathan Lee Riches© is Trade Marked.

Jonathan Lee Riches© is a global conglomerate of products, i.e. Jonathan Lee Riches© fashion line, Jonathan Lee Riches© fitness center, Jonathan Lee Riches© School of Entertainment.

2

Defendant and I know each other since children. Defendant hired the services of Jonathan Lee Riches© investigations in December of 1999. I provided Defendant with information on anyone. I had access to the three major credit reporting agencies Experian, Equifax, Transunion. I had access to nationwide DMV records. I had unlimited access to private investigating sites like Choicepoint, Lexis Nexus, Quickinfo, Acxium, First Data, U.S. Search, etc. I had access to hardware and software to create encoded data, Licenses, passports, clone phones. I had access to internal phone switches, call routing, Anti spoofing. I used social engineering methods a/k/a “pre-texting” combined with all the previously mentioned tools, which allowed me to accomplish anything.

3

Defendant has a new album due to release on September 11, 2007 titled “Curtis.” This album contains numerous Jonathan Lee Riches© copyrighted lyrics and material. I did not authorize the release of this material to defendant. A lot of the lyrics deal with cybercrime as Defendant has told me this is the new direction he wants to go. Defendant has told me Identity theft and computer hacking is the future. Defendant told me to write phrases and themes dealing with these types of topics.

4

This copyrighted material was stolen from me by defendant on May 7, 2007:

  • “Credit cards, debits I charge, I rock like Pat Benetar”
  • “I’m the optomus prime of cybercrime, the Tiger Woods of cyberhood, the Micky Mantle of financials”
  • “I’m da computer looter, Western Union abuser, the rap Lex Luther”
  • “I start a Fraudocracy, cause credit cards are a Mockery, It’s hard to stop me, from Pushin cars on shoppin spree’s”
  • “I’m Bin Laden, Robin and Batman combined in one man”
  • “My Skillz on the web, coincide like Bill and Ted”
  • “My brain trained to entertain Identities, Got names to change for centuries”
  • “The Taliban of scams, I’ll WMD Your Identity”
  • “I Love You Identity theft, my scams slam like the WWF”
  • “A Phone Phreaker, comin out Your home speakerz”
  • “I’m da Einstein of Identity crimes, My cyber skillz give you Siberian chills”
  • “That cop Mark Furman, couldn’t stop my credit card splurging”
  • “I’m da crook who took capital one funds, factual, been done”

5

On June 10, 2001 Defendant hired the services of Jonathan Lee Riches© Hacking Inc. Defendant wanted Neiman Marcus clothing to wear in his rap videos. Defendant hired me to hack into Neiman Marcus customers accounts to obtain instant credit to shop unlimited. We got $2.5 million in free clothing

6

On March 22, 2002 Defendant hired Jonathan Lee Riches© Revenge LLC. Defendant was having personal problems with other Global music Artist. Defendant had child support obligations with 80’s pop group Bananarama. Defendant told me to make Bananarama’s life miserable. Defendant hired me to send gravel, moving vans, strippers, dumpsters, Junk mail to their home. Defendant had me shut off their power, phones, water, cancel their credit cards, etc. The Artist Tears For Fears owed Defendant in NHL Hockey bets. Defendant had me put cell phone service around the country in Tears For Fears social security number and call 1-900 services to run them up.

7

January 17, 2003 – Sold my Jonathan Lee Riches© copyrighted story to “FX”, who created a current show called “The Riches.”

January 27, 2003 – Defendant sold the copyrights to my book “From rags to Jonathan Lee Riches©” to Tower Records without my consent Defendant 50 Cent bought FCI Williamsburg, Neverland Ranch, Sago Mine, The Apollo Theater, and Boston’s “Big Dig” tunnel with the proceeds.

Preliminary Injunction

TRO Temporary Restraining Order

Plaintiff moves this Honorable court to issue a Preliminary Injunction, Temporary Restraining Order prohibiting 50 Cent from releasing his September 11, 2007 new album titled “Curtis.” Plaintiff’ professional acting, entertainment, and modeling career is in Jeopardy. If this Motion does not reach this Court in time, Plaintiff moves this Court to halt the record sales of 50 Cents album “Curtis.”

Conclusion

Plaintiff moves this Honorable Court to issue order for Defendant to Respond. Plaintiff has suffered Major depression, grief, and constant harassment from Defendant.

Further, Plaintiff prays this Honorable Court requires 50 Cent to destroy all copies of Jonathan Lee Riches© material made in violation of Plaintiffs exclusive Rights.

No time to comment on this complaint, must go to the Jonathan Lee Riches© fitness center for some cardio.

yojoe© out

4 Responses

  1. sent by jesus callin all shots

  2. that line of quotes is so priceless…i read the suit last night, and am convinced that old fitty’s music may be better if it had jlr(c)’s lines in it.

  3. Another new case filed in the Delaware District court against: Larry Craig, Mark Foley, David Vitter, Barney Frank, Roman Catholic Priests, Kobe Bryant, R. Kelly, Warren Jeffs, Duke Lacrosse Players, James McGreevy, William Jefferson Clinton and Michael Jackson

    http://casedocs.justia.com/delaware/dedce/1:2007cv00538/38856/1/0.pdf

    A bit of a strange one actually, first because it was delayed (it was filed last Friday, yet for some reason wasn’t available in the ECF until today), and second because while the case doesn’t have any merit, it doesn’t actually make any claims that are too contrived. Though he does ask for his normal insanely large amount of money ($99,000,000,000.00 Billion Dollars)

  4. fortunately i don’t subscibe to either of these hacks. it sounds like player hating and use of dry lyrics by TWO fools. perhaps thereal fools are the ones that acually give these pencil necks the time of day, much less their money. gotta go, i have a life to live. both of y’all got too much time and money on your hands. maybe you could give back to the people and yuo may have less time to engage in a public pissing contest.

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