Jonathan Lee Riches© v. Carrie Underwood

For those uninitiated, Jonathan Lee Riches© (he asserts his names is copyrighted) he is an inmate at Federal Correctional Institution (FCI) Williamsburg, SC with a penchant for litigation. His many lawsuits include: Michael Vick, Barry Bonds, Don Imus, Wal-Mart, President Bush, The World Wide Web, Williams Sisters, 50 Cent, Iron Mike Tyson, Jeff Gordon, and LeBron James.

The JLR, the CEO of “Identity Theft Row Records,” has now sued Carrie Underwood for allegedly stealing his songs. The compliant, Jonathan Lee Riches© d/b/a CEO of “Identity Theft Row Records v. Carrie Underwood d/b/a “Country Music Singer” was filed in the United States District Court, Eastern District of Oklahoma.

The text of the complaint is as follows:

 

1

A Mega Conspiracy

On May 2005 – Carrie Underwood bribed American Idol Judges Simon and Paula. She got my co-defendant carpenter to hack into phone lines to rig votes.

Estonia got hacked too.

2

Aug 4, 2007 – Underwood current hit songs “I sued Vick, got on the news quick” “All Truth in my lawsuits” “Jonathan Lee Riches, He delicious” Are my copyrighted material of Jonathan Lee Riches©

3

Carrie Underwood is unpatriotic

June 7, 2007 Underwood text messages the Dixie Chicks

Underwood serenades for communist soldiers

Underwood burns her bra at concerts

Underwood got a arm tattoo of the Berlin Wall

Friends with Cindy Sheehan

4

June 28, 2007 Carrie Underwood threatens me daily, Everyday, minute, second with body harm by Tony Romo, Cowboys, and a few Indians.

Aug 10-2007- Carrie is pen pals with Andrea Yates

5

Aug 27, 2007 – Carrie Underwood cigarette lighter has been starting Greek fires.

Another unpatriotic conspiracy

6

May 12, 2007 Underwood committed Identity theft peonage She picks on blind workers at Wal-Mart too

7

2 Milli Vinilli lookalikes jumped me in the prison rec yard and stole my Larynx Under Carrie’s direct orders A first Amendment speech violation 1/18/07

I was denied access to the County Music Awards. Underwood put my head in a vice in Miami.

FCI Williamsburg guards wear cowboy hats and spurs

Preliminary Injunction Restraining Order

Plaintiff moves to stop all satellite viewing of the Country Music Channel in this universe. Stop Jon Swartz from USA Today from giving Carrie credit in my name.

yojoe© out

 

One Response

  1. Some of these sound like someone other than JLR is trying to write like JLR. This one especially seems like a copycat. JLR is a nut and a comedic genius. What’s the copycat’s excuse?

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