Jonathan Lee Riches© v. Billy Joel

In a complaint entitled “Billy Joel Took My Philly Soul” the JLR is suing over “everlasting trauma.”

Here are some highlights from the complaint:

 

  • Billy Joel the singer is my step father
  • NORAD set up a No Fly Zone around me, but airwaves still beamed my mind.
  • Woolston collects my Bowels and DNA for $’s.
  • Bronne Nadno has been selling my files to Wikipedia.org since 1953.
  • Truman ERA with Truman Doctrine for “world Nightmare on Jonathan Lee Riches mind.”
  • Billy Joel is making me sue Florida State head coach Bobby Bowden in Leon County, Tallahassee Florida . . . because Bowden is cheating on Joel’s wife in a remote corner at FCI Williamsburg. I did not report this because Italian hitmen made me sign a Comerta Silence oath on 9-22-07.
  • Vision Quest made me travel around the country in a horse and buggies like the Amish.
  • Defendants made me pull a wagon with bits and reins in my mouth while Bronner whipped me on.
  • I’m the lone survivor of Flight 93 in Pennsylvania, I have the flight recorder box in my possession.
  • Defendants shoot fire balls at my head
  • Woolston gave my head emotional trauma and stress from lying on me.
  • Harlem Globe Trotter look-alikes sodomized me at Vision Quest with a plunger while staff watched with popcorn.
  • TRO – Plaintiff moves to stop “We didn’t Start the Fire” from national airwaves because Billy Joel is hurting my feelings and Billy Joel wants to transform me into Billy Jean to follow Michal Jackson.

The Harlem Globe Trotters always seemed like good guys. The JLR may be wrong about this part.

yojoe© out

One Response

  1. Unreal. I can’t wait to see who he’ll sue next. Where can we get t-shirts and mousepads that say JLR?? I need one.

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