Jonathan Lee Riches© v. David Beckham and Posh Spice

For those uninitiated, Jonathan Lee Riches© (he asserts his names is copyrighted) he is an inmate at Federal Correctional Institution (FCI) Williamsburg, SC with a penchant for litigation. His many lawsuits include: Michael Vick, Barry Bonds, Don Imus, Wal-Mart, President Bush, The World Wide Web, Williams Sisters, 50 Cent, Iron Mike Tyson, Jeff Gordon, Carrie Underwood, and LeBron James.

In his latest lawsuit, the JLR has sued David Beckham and Posh Spice: Jonathan Lee Riches© v. David Beckham d/b/a “Soccer Player” Victoria Beckham d/b/a “Posh Spice”

In a complaint entitled “Soccer Piracy” the JLR is seeking “$3,000,000,000.00 Billion in British pounds to George Soros.”

The text of the complaint is as follows:

 

1

A mega conspiracy with Beckham and Major League Soccer. Beckham uses soccer balls that satellite precision guided. British agent James Bond and Pakistani Intelligence sit in the stands with a remote. Soccer balls are mobbed into the net after Beckham touches it. Beckham goal stats go up, more commercials for him. He gets a Key to any U.S. city. Iraqi National bank loot. Beckham kicks back funds to Buckingham palace.

2

June 16, 2007 – Posh Spice shopped at Sacks 5th Ave with Winona Ryder. Aug 30, 2007 – Beckham is an illegal alien he did not have to make a stop at Ellis Island like the rest of us.

3

12/27/07 For my 30th birthday Beckham gave me a Mattel soccer ball. I got lead poisoning, Major chemical imbalance.

4

Posh Spice is bulimic. Posh visited me at FCI Williamsburg on June 10, 2007. Ate the whole vending machine then used a porta potty.

5

Sunday August 27th, 2007 Beckham was in Clearwater Florida for a scientology briefing with Tom Cruise. Beckham kicked a soccer ball in front of Hulk Hogan’s son Nick Hogan’s Toyota Supra. Making Nick crash. Beckham tried to run away. A soccer kick cover up.

6

His whole career Beckham Fakes injuries, stole my tale Ankles. He took out a Policy with Chubb Insurance. Posh is on it to gain weight.

7

In the 90’s Beckham dropped soccer balls on me from the Empire StateBuilding. Beckham also told Frenchman Zadane to head butt me last month. 10/10/06 Posh Spice uses Old Spice deodorant.

8

Bring Beckham’s soccer balls to me to examine for High, High Octane, Axis of Evil. Every game world wide David Beckham wears the Jonathan Lee Riches© logo on his shirt. Beckham stole my Pele photos in my prison photo album.

9

May 3, 2007 – Beckham picked to play for the L.A. Galaxy because it goes with Hubbard’s Scientology beliefs. Beckham used to cross dress on stage at Spice Girls concerts.

Restraining Order

These people have intercepted my mind since the March of Dimes. I have nightmares of soccer abuse. See what Beckham did to Owen Wilson. Plaintiff moves this court for a Restraining order against Defendants.

The JLR and Posh Spice. Did Perez Hilton report on that?

yojoe©