It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The D.E.N.N.I.S. System

Quotes from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The D.E.N.N.I.S. System

The D.E.N.N.I.S. System:

• • • D – Demonstrate Your Value
    • E – Engage Physically
    • N – Nurturing Dependence
    • N – Neglect Emotionally
    • I – Inspire Hope
    • S – Separate Entirely
• Mac
  • He has banged a lot of chicks.
  • Separate entirely.
  • Men stuff!
  • I’m swooping in on your chick.
  • So they can get to know each other more better.
• Sweet Dee
  • He’s not D.E.N.N.I.S.ing me.
  • Of course we have engaged physically.
  • I don’t need you, I don’t need anybody.  Shut up!
• Frank Reynolds
  • I would have gone in and bought a box of Magnum condoms.  Thus demonstrating I have a monster dong.
  • I’ve got my Magnum condoms, I’ve got my wad of hundreds, I’m ready to plow.
  • Hello, Dr. Toboggan.
  • She don’t have a boyfriend.
  • I’m ready to plow.
  • That’s good, call me that from now on, Mantis.
• Dennis Reynolds
  • I have a system, a fool-proof system for getting any chicks undying love and affection for life.  I’m talking about the D.E.N.N.I.S. system
  • The D.E.N.N.I.S. system is a comprehensive approach for seduction I have developed for years.
  • I personally try to engage the girl physically without ever having gone on a date.
  • And then, naturally, we bang.
  • Have her car towed, or slash her tires.
  • Welcome to hell.
  • You been humping these chicks when I’m done with them?
  • And then, naturally, we bang.
• Charlie Kelly
  • Smooth. Very very smooth stuff, very classy.  I’m learning a lot from you dude.
  • Your getting played big time, big time.
  • You don’t want to call the police.

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia: Mac & Dennis Break Up

Quotes from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Mac & Dennis Break Up

• Mac
  • We’re more like a dynamic duo.
  • I texted you 911, dude.
  • Jason Statham’s physic is nothing like the lineup in Predator.
  • It’s important to pack on mass.
  • You think that not eating cat food is putting on airs?
• Sweet Dee
  • Enjoy that movie, boners.
  • You want a skinless apple bud.
  • Wow, there are a lot of cats back here.
• Frank Reynolds
  • I got your groceries, no cat food.
  • Your throwing my toe knife out?
  • We are the gruesome twosome!
• Dennis Reynolds
  • I feel like I’m not flourishing.
  • You couldn’t think of the word words.
  • I swallowed some apple seeds today.
  • I was told I would be meeting a woman with giant breasts.
• Charlie Kelly
  • Cat in the wall, hey.  Ok, now your talk’n my language.
  • You got to have a sidekick.
  • Cat’s don’t abide by the laws of nature.
  • I got followed here by like ten cats.
  • Let’s start think’n like a cat.
  • I would throw up now.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Gang Wrestles for the Troops

Quotes from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Gang Wrestles for the Troops.

Are you kidding, with Rowdy Roddy Piper as a guest star you know it will be great.  Also Rickety Cricket wrestles Frank.

• Charlie Kelly
• Unfortunately, he does not mention Milk Steak.
  • Maybe we will do an eagle screech.
  • Pigeon Boys, let’s do this!
  • I feel like pigeons are survivors, though.
  • What’s up cricket.
  • Were gonna write this great song.  It’s gonna be about how bad ass we are.
  • What happens in the ring cricket, happens in the ring.
  • Why the hell would you have a bucket of chestnuts bro?
  • That’s no prop. That’s sharp razor wire.
  • They are going to announce our name: Birds of War.
• Mac
  • Is he foraging for his food?
  • I’m getting more of a chicken vibe.
  • Drop a beat for us.
  • We can’t let the Taliban win.
  • I don’t know what kind of bird we would be.
  • The eagles born out of thunder, he flies through the night, don’t you mess with his eggs now, or you’ll see us fight, because we have feathers, but the muscles of men, because we’re Bird of War now, but we’re also men.
• Frank Reynolds
  • I’m the trash man.
  • I start eating garbage.
• Dennis Reynolds
  • I want people to be able to see we aren’t just birds.
  • He was calling you the N-word.
  • I don’t feel that we are reading as eagles.
  • We are Bird Men, we are Birds of War.
• Sweet Dee
  • For the love of God, please don’t ask him about his dick.
  • I’m not desert rose.
  • So, what’s the deal with you standing?
  • Artemis, I’m warning you, if you don’t get out of the way right now I’m gonna bring out the big guns.

Washington Redskins Ban Signs At Games, Eject And Insult Fans

It goes without saying that the Washington Redskins are a rancid football team.  But now the team, read Daniel Snyder, has reached new lows, aside from losses to Detroit and KC.

Here are some of the highlights of the new lows for the Redskins:

• Two fans wearing “Dumb” and “Dumber” shirts with photos of Snyder and VP Vinny Cerrato claimed security guards made them invert their shirts.
• Fans were prohibited from chanting “We want Gruden.”
• The team has banned media interviews of tailgating fans.
• Fans are prohibited from having signs at the game, even signs supporting our troops in Afghanistan.  Way to go Snyder.  Great to be against the troops.
• Redskin linebacker Robert Henson, berated Redskins fans on his Twitter page.  It Tweet: “All you fake half hearted Skins fan can .. I won’t go there but I dislike you very strongly, don’t come to Fed Ex to boo dim wits!!”
  • “half hearted” Henson, learn to tackle and to properly use phrasal adjectives.  You not good at either.

Recipe For Milk Steak

For a delicious meal of Milk Steak you will need the following ingredients, remember to buy the most succulent  meat and the freshest milk :

1. T-Bone Steak
2. 1 Gallon Boiling Milk

Bring the milk to a rolling boil, then add the steak.  It is best served boiled over hard.  For a side dish you should consider a bowl of jelly beans, raw.

One famous lover of this dish is Charlie Kelly.

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia: The World Series Defense

Quotes from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The World Series Defense

• Charlie Kelly
  • I got a pretty good thing going with green man.
  • Passionate fans, we got to hammer something.
  • We are going to do a Charlie 1 2.
  • Don’t big league me man. character
  • I got hammed so hard.
  • I’m calling kangaroo court.
• Mac
  • I’m not watching this game sober.
  • I don’t appreciate being paraphrased.  Now I choose my words very deliberately.
  • I absolutely have the upper-body strength to accomplish that.
  • When ever there is a potential riot, I’m getting blasted on grain alcohol.
• Frank Reynolds
  • Balls!  They are fumigating the building for bed bugs.
  • I can’t read every flyer that gets slipped under the door.
  • The bug bomb bastards took them.
• Dennis Reynolds
  • I’m blasting bear chest the whole time.
  • Riot punch.
  • Can we not base out decisions on what does or does not work on episodes of Scooby-Doo.
  • We are not gonna be waste’n our fine grain alcohol on your bug bites.
• Sweet Dee
  • World Series bitches!
  • Let’s pregame!

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia: The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention

Quotes from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention

Frank Reynolds

• It’s not grease it’s sap.
• I don’t know how many years on this Earth I got left, I’m gonna get real weird with it.
• Block the wind I’m gonna roast this bone.
• We did a bunch of those Monster energy drinks and dry humped.  I think she gave me poison ivy.
• Look Snail, back off, you’re just mash’n it now.

Charlie Kelly

• You might want to be armed at this intervention.
• When was the last time we played nightcrawlers, Frank.

Dennis Reynolds

• Gail the Snail is the Garbage Pail cousin.

Sweet Dee

• We are not intervening on Frank for a lack of good ideas.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Gang Exploits the Mortgage Crisis

Quotes from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia:

Charlie Kelly

• Hummingbirds are a legal tender.
• Now, let’s say you and I go toe to toe on bird law, and see how comes out the victor.
• I’m trying to get satisfied from this dude.

Mac

• We have to kill the kids because they have seen our faces.
• How about I take your wife upstairs and show her what it’s like to be deep inside a really big house.

Recipe For Meatball Subs On A Primo Grill

This recipe was done on a Primo grill, but it has also been created many times on my Big Green Egg (BGE).  This recipe was modified from a recipe from Throwdown with Bobby Flay, where he competed against the owner of Maroni Cuisine.

This recipe calls for meatballs on Ciabatta bread, but the meatballs and sauce goes just as well over spaghetti.

Meatballs Ingredients:

• 1 pounds ground beef
• 8 tbs dried bread crumbs
• 4 large eggs
• 4 ounces milk
• 12 tbs Romano cheese
• 6 tbs Spanish onion, finely diced
• 4 cloves fresh garlic
• 4 tbs Italian parsley leaves
• 4 tbs basil leaves

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season Season 7 To Begin 20SEP09

The seventh season of Curb Your Enthusiasm is set to begin on HBO on 20SEP09 at 9PM. 

Great to hear Larry and his friends are back. 

yojoe out

Jay-Z, The Game, Neo-Conservatives, Liz Lemon, and Kermit The Frog

These are two must-read posts.  There is no connection between these posts, in fact they could not be more dissimilar.  Nonetheless, you should enjoy both. 

Jay-Z v. The Game: Lessons for the American Primacy Debate

30 Rock is a rip-off of The Muppet Show

yojoe out

Artie Lange, Joe Buck, And The Hypocrisy Of HBO

The comic Artie Lange was recently invited to Joe Buck’s new HBO show Joe Buck Live.  While on the show Lange was both funny and abrasive.  Now the head of HBO, Ross Greenburg has apologized for Lange and banned him from HBO,

“I would say I’m sorry to anyone across America who had kids and were watching what they thought was a good and honest sports show that turned into gutter language.”

I did not see the original airing of the show, but I did catch it on a replay.  Also, the show continues to replay on HBO.  Now if Mr. Greenburg is so sorry for Lange’s actions why is he continuing to air the program?  Either apologize and refuse to air the show, or continue to air it and embrace Lange’s brand of comedy.  Just don’t profit from Lange’s appearance and fain shock.

yojoe out

HBO Hard Knocks: Season Three Cincinnati Bengals

The third season of the HBO show Hard Knocks will feature the Cincinnati Bengals.  For Trojan fans this will be a great year.  The show should feature a number of former USC players, including Rey Maualuga, Carson Palmer, Keith Rivers, and Fostee Rucker.

yojoe Fight On!

Fans Of The HBO Show The Wire Are About To Get A New Show

If you are, or were, a fan of The Wire you are in for some good news. David Simon, the creator of The Wire, has created a new show set in New Orleans: Treme.  Here is a description from The Times-Picayune,

“Treme,” named after the iconic New Orleans neighborhood where many musicians live, will marry one of television’s most prestigious networks with creator David Simon, one of television’s hottest series masterminds.

Simon created HBO’s the “The Wire,” which just completed a five-year run. While not a huge ratings success for the network, “The Wire” was one of the most critically acclaimed shows in television history.

Simon confirmed that HBO will film the first episode of “Treme,” possibly sometime later this year. If HBO gives the green light for more episodes, production would resume in 2009.

Kenny Powers On Trusting Women

From Eastbound & Down

Kenny Powers,

“A lot of people say Kenny Powers is a woman hater. That’s not true. I love women, every f***ing one of them, even the ugly-as-sh** ones. But don’t ask me to trust them, not even nuns. Because every pair of ti** comes with a gaping hole of need that even Kenny Powers can’t fill.”

yojoe out

Kenny Powers On Fighting

From Eastbound & Down

Kenny Powers, “I’m not going to stop yelling because that would mean I lost the fight!”

yojoe out

Kenny Powers On Fundamentals

From Eastbound & Down

Kenny Powers: “Fundamentals are a crutch for the talentless.”

yojoe out

Kenny Powers Official Website

New HBO Show: Eastbound & Down

The new HBO Eastbound & Down show stars Danny McBride as Kenny Powers, a 35-year-old ex MLB pitcher who is forced to return to his home town to be a P.E. teacher.  The story is exactly what you would expect if John Rocker was forced to go back to his home town.

The show’s executive producers are Will Ferrel and Adam McKay.  The men from funny or Die who brought you Pearl in The Landlord and Good Cop, Baby Cop.

The show is great, at least the first episode was.  To give you an idea, Kenny Powers’s motto is “You’re F**Kin’ Out, I’m F**kin’ In!”  What more could one ask for?

yojoe out

Season 5 Of The Office

Season 5 of The Office, U.S. version, premiered on 28SEP08.

Pam’s rendering of Dwight.

yojoe out

H/T: Office Tally

How To Upgrade TiVo With A New Hard Drive: Get 638 Hours Of Recording Time

Before I replaced the hard drive on my TiVo I had 90 hours, 41 minutes of recording time, when set on basic quality.

After installing the new hard drive, I now have 638 hours, 33 minutes of recording time, when set on basic quality.

Before begining to explain the process of installing a new hard drive, I need to disclose that I have no training or experience in computer repair.  And, you should defer to the instruction that come with the new hard drive if there are any discrepancies between this post and the instrucitons.  That being said, this was very easy to do.

As I mentioned, I had never worked on a computer before, and I had never replaced a hard drive.  The entire process took me about 20 minutes, from unplugging the TiVo from the television to plugging it back in.

The TiVo was a Series 2 TiVo DVR, module24008A.  The upgrade was to a 500gb Seagate DB35 hard drive, ordered from weaKnees.com.

Hard Knocks Season Two: Dallas Cowboys Training Camp

The HBO sports documentary Hard Knocks returned for its second season last night, 6AUG08.  This season looks to be better than the last.  This year Hard Knocks follows the training camp of the Dallas Cowboys.  With TO, Pacman Jones, and Tony Romo in camp, there will be plenty of controversy.

Even if you are not a fan of the Cowboys – the author is assuredly not – or the NFL you will enjoy this program.  Learning about the back stories of rookies trying to make the team, and veterans trying to hold on for another year is fascinating.