Jonathan Lee Riches© v. John Mark Karr, Andrea Yates, Dylan Klebold, et al

Jonathan Lee Riches© (he asserts his names is copyrighted) he is an inmate at Federal Correctional Institution (FCI) Williamsburg, SC with a penchant for litigation. His many lawsuits include: Michael Vick, Barry Bonds, Don Imus, Wal-Mart, President Bush, The World Wide Web, Williams Sisters, 50 Cent, Iron Mike Tyson, Jeff Gordon, Carrie Underwood, and LeBron James.

The JLR’s latest lawsuit is: Jonathan Lee Riches© v. John Mark Karr A/K/A “The Father”; Andrea Yates A/K/A “The Mother”; Dylan Klebold A/K/A “The Son”; Seung-Hui Cho A/K/A “Foreign Exchange Student”; Cousin It A/K/A “The Cousin”; Cujo A/K/A “Family Pet, wherein he is requesting “$50,000,000.00 Million dollars” in damages.

The text of the complaint is as follows:

 

1

Dec 6, 1997, I was on a boy scout trip selling cookies in this country. Defendants and children of the corn kidnapped my life and sent me to a Lord of the Flies torture camp deep in the Ozarks to join their family.

2

Feb 10, 1998 Defendants home schooled me in a dungeon. Cho made me learn Korean with a gun to my head, constructed Kim Jong missiles Karr forced me to play with my little pony dolls. Yates babysat me. Cousin It taught me identity theft. I read George Orwell Literature.

3

April 19, 1999 – Klebold made me sew and stitch his trench coat. May 18, 1999 – Defendants fed me after midnight with Gremlins. They would not let me go to Woodstock. I had to salute Nazi – Adolf Eichmann. June 23, 1999 – Hard Slave Labor at Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Jan 10, 2007 – Defendants forced me to marry a male inmate. Aug 29, 2007 – They manipulated the mid of Owen Wilson.

4

I was put in a Navy ship cannon and shop at the battle of Saratoga 1777. Teased with empty Aspirin bottles. Sold to Ringling Brothers.

5

June 9, 2007 – Defendants made me watch Adams Family reruns in slow motion of weeks in Yates bathtub. On the back patio, Defendants put a fluorescent bulb on me to attract mosquitoes.

6

Feb 13, 2007 – Defendants and FCI Williamsburg doctors conducted Angel of Death experiments on me. They sucked out my mental health with Schiavo’s feeding tube on Kevorkian’s orders.

7

Jan 10, 2006 – Hired Richard Branson, space ship one, G. Jetson sent me in chain gangs to the moon with illegal aliens to shovel rocks. Total Recall built a space prison for Lou Dobbs Aliens Internet Cafes. I was coerced to moonwalk.

8

Aug 2, 2007 – Cujo wears Vick jersey. July 16, 2006 – Defendants made me sniff nerve gas to rattle my mind. Arial 20, 2007 – Gestapo troops gave me Victor Yuchonko pox marks.

TRO Temporary Restraining Order

I suffered Nightmares on Elm St, Amityville Horrors, The Hills Have Eyes. Plaintiff moves this Court to stop these weirdos from mess my future.

yojoe©